Tell you what, I'm not totally sure how I arrived at this point in my existence.

I know one thing for certain, however... there is a God and He loves us.

Take all of your stigmas and throw them out the window. Open your heart

to the possibility of something greater. Our culture tells us that science has

defeated all supernatural aspects of our reality... but I still witness miracles.

I'm serious... and my IQ is in a pretty okay place.

​

I was at a camp one time as a 15-year-old. This 15-year-old was an atheist and didn't believe in anything except all likelihood that the human existence was meaningless... that my life was meaningless and didn't matter. I was floating on a ball of dirt and water in the middle of nothingness and insignificance. Since I was so small in comparison to the sheer size of the universe, I quickly realized that I had to take initiative and make myself matter.

 

Middle school taught me that there's only a select group of people that are important in society. This group of people were skinny, stars on the sports teams, and had long blonde hair which flowed behind them as they strutted down the halls. Stereotypical. I did not fit these qualifications, and suddenly realized that my reputation was falling short of the hierarchy. I lived each day of my life with the sole purpose to move up on this imaginary scale of popularity and recognition. I starved myself. I spent 45 minutes straightening my hair each morning. One time I shaved my eyebrows off. It wasn't working. The boys were not swooning over me. I was not invited to sit with the volleyball players.

​

I needed a new tactic. If I couldn't be the prettiest, I could surely be the funniest! Worries about my looks started to fade, while making others laugh became my focal point. I did a pretty good job with this, but a lot of the times, my jokes came at the expense of others. Word started to get around that I was poking fun at my classmates and gossiping about my peers. I remember liking someone's Instagram post for a TBH (risky business), and I'll never forget their response, which sarcastically said, "My mom told me that if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". I was hurt, but I didn't want to show it or repent for my wrongdoings because that would make me weak and even less cool. I kept going.

​

There's many more incidents where that came from... a lot more that I look back on as I wince with discomfort. But things changed for that 15-year-old during her week at camp. It was kind of a church camp, and I was accompanied by a college gal who I had befriended through a ministry that sent their leaders into high school lunchrooms as a means to evangelize. My parents used to tell me that she was just trying to "convert" me, but our friendship felt quite genuine. There was something special about her. I couldn't quite put my finger on it at the time, but now I recognize that it was surely the Holy Spirit stirring about her. 

​

She would occasionally ask me thought-provoking questions, and often told me stories about her adventures with God. I still didn't care much for the whole concept of "Christianity", but my heart gradually started to soften towards the possibility of there being something greater in my midst. When I went to camp the summer before my sophomore year in high school, I still would have considered myself an atheist. I pretty much just wanted to hang out with my college-aged leaders for a week. However, in that gift shop, I experienced something strange. I was standing there, with $40 worth of t-shirts in my arms, and I suddenly felt light and fluttery as my mind seemed to flip inside out in a moment of the most intense "deja-vu" that I have ever felt to this day. There was also a brief vision that flew across the screen of my consciousness. I saw myself standing alongside my mother and grandmother. I felt incredibly elated for a few seconds, then I shook it all off as if it was nothing. I bought some souvenirs, then went on with my day.

​

Throughout the rest of my week at camp, I got the opportunity to hear the most incredible words that humanity has ever, and will ever come to know. This is the Gospel of Jesus Christ...

     God created the stars and all their brightness, the planets with all their waters, and the grasses with their colorful flowers. These were beautiful to Him, and He thought that they were good. However, even with all of these waterfalls and sea creatures, He found He was lonely. He longed for children of His own, which He could nurture and have a relationship with. Thus, He created humankind. He gave these humans freewill. He wanted them to love Him just as He loved them, but He did not see it fit to make them slaves. Out of His love, He gave us the ability to choose Him or to choose our own selfish desires. (TO BE CONTINUED)